As the calendar turns to a fresh year, many of us embark on the tradition of setting resolutions—goals for self-improvement that often prove elusive. Yet, as the year progresses, the echoes of resolutions made often fade into the background, leaving us wondering, “Why do New Year's resolutions fail?”
This article explores the psychology behind these aspirations and unveil alternatives to the traditional approach.
New Year’s resolutions vary widely based on individual goals, priorities, and areas of improvement. However, some resolutions tend to be quite common as they reflect universal aspirations for personal growth and well-being like weight loss, eating healthier, quit smoking, save money, travel more, read more, advance in career, etc.
More often than we anticipate, our new year resolutions slip into a black hole quiet early in our journey of fulfilling them.
Let’s understand why the New Year’s resolutions fail or don’t work:
- Unrealistic Expectations: More often we have high expectations from ourselves and tend to set unrealistic goals or targets for ourselves. These goals spring from a surge of optimism, unable to understand that our reality might make it a struggling experience to fulfil those targets. This often leads to, us dropping those very early in the year leading to frustration or lack of self-belief
- Lack of Planning: Setting a resolution is merely the initial step; a robust plan is required for long term success. Without a clear roadmap, resolutions morph into mere wishes, susceptible to forgetting in the face of obstacles.
- Overemphasis on Outcomes: Resolutions often hone in on results rather than the transformative process. When the primary focus is on the destination, the journey becomes arduous, and setbacks can dismantle the entire effort.
- Limited Intrinsic Motivation: Resolutions often emerge from external pressures rather than genuine personal desire. Sustaining change requires intrinsic motivation—a deep, internal commitment to transformation rooted in mental well-being.
Cultivate Sustainable Changes to Make Your Resolution’s Work:
- Setting Mindful Intentions: Shift from rigid resolutions to setting mindful intentions. Frame aspirations as guiding principles aligned with your values. In the process, ensure that you are not putting too much pressure on yourself, impacting mental health.
- Celebrating Progress: Acknowledge that the path to change is rarely linear. Celebrate small victories, recognizing the role of setbacks in the learning process. Whether it is small victories or the missed bus towards our goals, learnings are an inevitable part of this journey. Understanding this fact will help us to not beat ourselves or traverse on cloud 9. Balance is the key to maintain an optimum level of mental health and helps build resilience in the long run.
- Create Schedule & Reward Yourself: The most basic and known fact to make anything work is to create a schedule and follow it. And yet we struggle with it. Once you have created a schedule, put it up in all the important and relevant places at your home, office, diary, etc. Each day you are able to follow it, allocate a reward point for yourself. At the end of the month, you can redeem those reward points and treat yourself something that you have been longing for, but putting it on the back burner.
- Remember Its A Journey: Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Understand that setbacks are integral to the journey, and treat yourself with kindness and understanding as you work towards your goals, promoting positive mindset.
As the calendar turns, let this be the year you move beyond fleeting resolutions. While you continue to work on your goals remember to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Your goals and resolutions are made to make you a better person, beating up yourself for the same will have an adverse impact on your mental health!